No Money Weekend

No Money Weekend

Maximum fun on minimum funds.

Here's our weekly pre-weekend tips for means to extract the mostest fun, on the leastest money.

Particularly handy if you spent all your money at Laneway last weekend. Particularly handy if you're spending more time out during the week than you normally would on "just a few casual white wines" and "just a few cheap Fringe Festival shows", that actually amount to a considerable outlay by week's end. 

Particularly handy if you left your wallet in the back of a taxi, or you have no idea where you left your wallet. Particularly handy you know exactly where your wallet is, and you know exactly how much money it does not contain. 

(Image: Clara Canepa)

The Rosemount plays host to a big show presented by Status Factory Records this Friday which is gon’ be a real banger for local music lovers. The larger-than-usual home grown line-up includes Eleventeen ElstonFelicity GroomFlower DrumsGunnsRunner and Golden String. For a mere 10 smackers, you receive a generous serving of the state’s best bands and all the dream pop you could ever desire. – Charles

When & Where: Fri Feb 13, $10 from 7.30pm, Rosemount Hotel, 459 Fitzgerald Street, North Perth. The event page is here.

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Above: Flower Drums (Photo: Corner Gallery)


Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest but when the summer weather's this good, everyone's planning awesome events on Sundays now - from Laneway to Castaway to Day Woo to just general Sunday boozy drinks - so more often than not, Monday morning's becoming a bit of a struggle. And by the time Monday night comes around around, you don't even wanna know how tired we are. And how hungry. Inglewood Monday Night Markets are the perfect salve for Monday nights - rock up and hand over ten bucks and you'll get a plate of delicious food from the ever-changing list of local food trucks / stalls - Marcelita's Empanadas,  Belgian Waffles, paella, icecream and more. All just a stones' throw away from the city, in the Mount Lawley neighbouring suburb Inglewood. Then home to bread! - Dani

Every Monday, 6pm - 9pm. 6th to 10th Avenue, Beaufort Street, Inglewood. Free entry. Facebook Page here for updates.


Going to eat all of the paella...


Menagerie Nights is hosting a free traffic light party, which includes a set from the ODD MOB team. Inflatable dolls, a silent disco and a huge selection of DJ’s bringing the tunes are but a few of the highlights of what will be a pretty wild night. One of Pilerats’ resident videographers will also be present, so you can get weird on camera. With zero entry free and $5 drinks this should be the best Valentine’s Day hook up you've ever have. – Charles 

When & Where: Sat Feb 14, $0 (Freeeee) from 10pm, Parker Nightclub, 133 Aberdeen St, Northbridge. See the event page here. 


Our new Pilerats love child Catlips joins an exclusive lineup on Friday with Cambodian visual/sound artist Lafidki visiting our beloved William Street Bird. All the way from Phnom Penh, the exceptional Lafidki showcases his spacey post-pop dreams and visual pleasures with support from local gems Sacred Flower Union and Basic Mind. Catlips has the stage first so get down early for brews and grooves. – Charles

When & Where: Fri Feb 13, $5 from 8pm. William Street Bird, 141 William St, Northbridge. Get the event page here. 

sacred flower union

Above: Sacred Flower Union.


This week’s live music line up continues to impress with a night of exceptional female artists at Mojos Fremantle. This month’s Hussle Hussle hosts Blue Galleon, an electronic dance trio from Perth, supported by local sweethearts Natalie MaeEteana and our favourite exotic songstress Mei Saraswati, who will be spinning some discs. Expect some womanly vibes. – Charles

 When & Where: Fri Feb 13, $10 from 8pm, Mojos Bar, 237 Queen Victoria Street, North Fremantle. Hit that event page here. 


Above: Mei Saraswati (Image: Neil Wallace)


The Sunday Club backyard gigs continue this weekend in Vic Park as part of SixThousand's collaboration with Vic Park Collective and Fringe World. This week local garage gods Doctopus are joined by ALZABO and MUGWUMP to heal your post-Valentine’s Day wounds with chill grooves and $5 Sailor Jerry’s. Dare you to think of a better way to spend a Sunday arvo. - Charles

When & Where: Sun Feb 15, 3 – 7 pm, Protective Behaviours (rear), entry through IGA laneway, 874 Albany Hwy, East Vic Park. Observe the event page here.


Above: Doctopus. Image: Linda Dunjey


 Kick start the weekend right at Goodgod Small Club with good-times guaranteed by DJ Levins, Joyride and Scott Dools as part of Brown Cardigan IRL takeover. Who Brown Cardigan is and how you’ll even know they are there is beyond us but here is to hoping you’ll end up like this below / above afterwards. - Liam

 When & Where: Fri Feb 13, Goodgod Small Club, 53-55 Liverpool Street, Sydney.  


 Once I went to a dive-bar at 4am in Leeds, it was called The Stone Roses Bar and all they played was Brit-Pop. The Razzmatazz Indie Discotheque sounds pretty similar but instead of just British indie cuts you get decades of Indie like Bowie, Foals and The Pixies. And for just $5 a pop it seems like a worthwhile way to spend Valentines night. - Liam

When & Where: Sat Feb 14, Exford Hotel upstairs, 199 Russell St, Melbourne.


Above: Foals


Beer garden, cheap eats, live graffiti and a stackload of Hip-Hop on a Sunday arvo sound like your kind day? Then the Howler has you covered with their 100% Phat Block Party and it’s totally free. All you have to do is go to the 100% Phat Block Party site and register to enter. - Liam

When & Where – Sun Feb 15, Howler, 7-11 Dawson Street, Brunswick.


Don't fall prey to the Hallmark holiday tommorrow - it's just a marketing ploy to pressure you into buying shit. If you are falling prey to buying shit, support your music industry and enrich your cultural life and buy tickets to upcoming music gigs or festivals - buy two tickets to each thing so you can go together and then it's a future present of giving your time, too. Alternatively, here's some cheap experiences (low-cost, not tacky) that you could give a shot:


Miles of cellophane and ribbon and overly-perfect, way too synthetic-looking blooms just look tacky and will cost you a fortune (but if you're going to do it, don't even think about anything in a cellophane tube, or with a miniature teddy bear attached - head to somewhere like Beans & Bunches, who have super interesting, more rare types of flowers and put a lot more artistry into their combos than the Chinese deli on the corner). 

Save dosh and head to an expensive suburb and raid their flower gardens. Do this late at night to avoid being seen, and do it in your car for a quick getaway. Bring scissors so you can work quickly, and a plastic bag to put the flowers in. Mind the thorns. Find a nice brochure for an art gallery from the rows of flyers in shops and use that as an inspired wrapping choice. Or find a vine-like, bendy stem and wind that around the flowers to bind them together. 


If your desires for Valentines consist along the lines of 'I'm broke’ or 'no one loves me *cries*' then the Kings Cross Hotel have a cheap-ass solution for you. Teaming up with music agency UNDR ctrl they’ve got a summer residency that runs till the end of February. And this week they have part of Jagwar Ma under the moniker Juno Mars DJing alongside Csmnt61 and a group of DJs that sound geared for success, World Champion DJs. - Liam

When & Where: Sat Feb 14, Kings Cross Hotel rooftop, 244-248 William St, Kings Cross, Sydney. 


The cornballs at Saturday nighter Father are throwing a Drake-themed edition of their weekly hip hop / rap / trap night, in a tribute to the perfect confluence of the sensitive rapper's upcoming Aussie Tour, and it being Valentines Day. The Valentines Day Drake Feels night will feature sets filled with Drake's emotional tunes, as chosen by local DJs Jaymee Franchina, 25Buck, Ursa, Ol M8 Pierce and the D'Vauz Bros. Purple drank and Export drink specials. There's a double pass to the Perth concert being raffled off on the night, and free Drake face masks for everyone! Free pizza if you get there early, too. Get on your worst behaviour! - Dani

When & Where – Father, 110 Aberdeen St, Northbridge, 9pm - 2am. $10 (or free if you can shoot a goal at the basketball hoop at the door). 

Here's a free Drake Valentine's Day Card for you to cut out and keep. Or cut out and give to someone.

Drake Card1


Going out for dinner on Saturday is an absolutely rubbish idea. Even if your Mum's given you a discoount voucher for a fancy restaurant from her Entertainment Gold Book. Not only will restaurants be chockers and you'll have to wait a hundred years for your food, you'll be surrounded by lovesick couples, which will put you off your food anyway. So forget about the Valentine's Day 'special' bajillion course degustation and head out a few days later instead (Clarence's do a nice $25 chilli mussels and white wine special on Tuesday nights!) for an actually enjoyable, private and peaceful meal. - Dani


If you have some cash, you could hire a movie projector from here or here (will set you back $80 - 100) and throw a sheet up on the fence in your backyard for a home cinema - then pack a picnic of fancy snacks from Fresh Provisions (like properly in a basket) and then avoid the parks (also teeming with lovesick couples) and drag your doona onto the grass and have a picnic in your own backyard. Put on the first movie you watched together? Make a Youtube Playlist of video clips of relevant love songs? - Dani


Obviously a home-cooked meal is a great idea if you can throw together something half decent. Or if you know how to use a mobile phone and have this number 9228 9307 which is the number for Saowanee's Thai on Fitzgerald Street who are the 'best Thai in Perth' according to their A-Frame, and according to the 16th of my annual salary I spend there every year. - Dani 

Have a great weekend guys. You deserve it.

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(Image: Clara Canepa)

Got a No Money Weekend hot tip-off for Pilerats? Email the details to before Thursday 5pm each week. 

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