According to eBay this is what your average Splendourite will look like

If You're Reading This It's Too Late is the title of Drake's recent mixtape released on Valentine's Day 2015 and it's also an apt way of pointing out you're not at Splendour In The Grass (SITG). Don't worry neither am I but eBay has been circulating some figures on the sales of certain products leading up to SITG so why don't we laugh at all the fools in the mud with their Fedoras. Yes Fedoras, there has been a 20% increase in them:

Wait weren't they a thing in 2013? Yeah but I want to feel stylish forever *tips fedora* Furthermore, there has been a 62% rise in young, skinny white guys with bum fluff for moustaches (Okay the skinny, white guy bit I made up but c'mon) buying up all the 'John Lennon round sunglasses'. You can imagine them all sitting around their campsite moaning about how Japanese Wallpaper has sold out.

But what seems to be THE fashion item of 2015 is the 'peasant blouse' with an 86% rise:

Now this could either indicate two things: there is a burgeoning peasant class within Australia who loves festivals and buy their clothes from eBay or the whole, "I just woke up like this," look is reaching peak fashion. The number-crunching doesn't end here though as Fringe Vest (I had to google that one), you know those leather jackets that look like they couldn't retain any heat and look like half of it is falling off? Well they're up 57% but no surprise really they're another timeless piece of fashion in the SITG lookbook.

Sadly the funny fashion ends here but I'd bet a hefty amount on there being a large number of bindis and American Indian Headdresses. If for some reason you think either of these items are 'cool' and you don't fall into either of the following categories: you're Hindu or part of an American indigenous community then give this a read. In other news there was a massive 83% rise in shewees which for the clueless people out there is this:

A damn fine instrument allowing women to stand up and take a wee. Which I'm all for as I don't want to sit on a compost toilet at SITG on a Sunday any longer than I can.

The stats (via eBay):

- Hunter welly boots have increased a massive 62% in the last week*

- Rain jacket sales have increased 40%

- Sleeping bag sales are up 30%

- Hand sanitiser and wet wipes are up 21% and 15% respectively

- Sales of peasant blouses are up a whopping 86%

- Fringe vest sales are up 57%

- Sales of round John Lennon style sunglasses have increased by 62% 

- Feather necklace sales have increased 32%

- Sales of boho style capes are up 22%

- Fedora hats are not far behind with a 20% rise in sales