No Money Weekend

No Money Weekend

The essential nation-wide cheapskates event guide.

Summer's over, but your social life goes on. A selection of cultural, musical and party experiences that are available for next to nothing in Melbourne, Sydney, Perth and Tasmania lay below, for you to persuse at your leisure. Don't be too leisurely, mind you - some of the best events in the list kick off tonight.

(Photo: Yin Ling)

PERTH

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE LOOKING AT?

The summer of public arts displays continues to impress at Perth’s most popular beach this weekend where you can be charmed by the weird and wonderful Sculptures by the Sea. Following last year’s Giant Goonbag (possibly the best Australian public art display EVER) who knows what’s in store in 2015. Sunset is the best time to hit it up, grab some fish and chips and go for a wander. This amazing weather is not going to last forever so make the most of it. – Charles.

When & Where: Runs now until Mar 23, Cottesloe Beach, Cottesloe. Info HERE.

5310988 3x2 940x627

Alejandro Propato, 'Permanent Sunset', 2014 Sculptures By The Sea (Image: Emma Wynne).

OHAYO

If you love the wonderful land of Japan, then the Perth Japan Festival is where you want to be this Saturday. Head down to Forrest Place in the city and experience an explosion of Japanese culture including demos in traditional martial arts, dance and sushi-making. There’s going to be Japanese arts and crafts as well as a big selection of anime culture goods (Pokemon!). The event will run into the late arvo, so grab some Ramen noodles from one of the many food stalls and check out all the latest trends from Japan. Bring on those Japtastic vibes. - Charles

When & Where: Sat Mar 4, 1 – 8 pm, Forrest Place, Perth CBD. Free entry. Get more info HERE.

BAKE N' SHAKE

The Bakery is a priceless icon of our Perth music scene, which is why music lovers are absolutely terrified that the venue is closing down. This Friday, a bunch of local legends including Aborted Tortoise, Childsaint, Doctopus, Shit Narnia and The Pissedcolas unite at The Bakery for the launch of local rockers Rag N' Bone’s A Woman Under the Influence EP. Even if you don’t have a clue who these guys are, this will be one of the last times you can hang out amongst the iconic red shipping containers at our beloved Bakery before it finally pulls the pin. - Charles

When & Where: Fri Mar 6, 8pm – late, The Bakery, 233 James St, Northbridge - $5. Here’s an event page.

CHILLI-N'

The Araluen Chilli Festival (which is actually in Fremantle - confusing) is this weekend. You don't have to count My Kitchen Rules among your favourite TV shows to enjoy this event - it's a good time for non-foodies too. Really, it's a good time for anyone who likes eating heaps of food, with over 95 food stalls (would you look at this map!) serving up some of the most exotic and weird shit known to human tongues. There's also a chilli cocktail making competition showdown featuring some of Perth's best bartenders. - Dani 

When & Where: Sat Mar 7 & Sun Mar 8, 10am - 5pm, Esplanade Reserve, Freo. Details here.

WET WET WET

If you've ever wanted to re-live that childhood birthday party of yours where your Dad rolled a hundred metres of garbage bag down the lawn and waved a hose over it for the greatest DIY water slide known to man, then head to Swanbourne this weekend for a bunch of water slides, water rides and water games at Splashfest. Rolling around in a Zorb ball, on the water, is a highly attractive proposition on a fourty degree day. Bonus non-water things: music, food, bouncy castle, duck tank. Gotta love a bonus duck tank. - Dani

When & Where: Sat Mar 8, Swanbourne Reserve, Swanbourne. 2pm - 5pm.  Free. 

waterball zorb

SYDNEY

 COLOUR IN CHIPPENDALE

Tonight in Sydney, psychip-hopic indie rockers King Colour are headlining at the Lansdowne Hotel in Chippendale. A short walk from UTS and even shorter from USyd and UNDA, it’s definitely worth stopping by and drowning your ‘first week back’ sorrows. The boys are on at 11pm but support acts Prints and The Bloody Mummers are on from 9pm. The Landsdowne “Pants Down” Hotel has always been a hub for great local music and with an evening full of Sydney-siders on the bill, tonight won’t be any different. Entry is completely free so more money for booze. NB: Please always keep your pants on while at the Pants Down. - Sam Garcia

When & Where: Fri Mar 6, The Lansdowne Hotel, 2- 6 City Rd, Chippendale. 9pm - late. Free.

KING COLOUR

NIGHT TIME IS THE RIGHT TIME

Being the first Friday of the month, it only means one thing: Redfern Night Markets. The space highlights all that is cool about the inner city suburb. You probably usually associate markets with people shouting out prices for fruit, but Redfern offers a heck of a lot more - starting with serious vibes. DJs Syd Def Jam, Jayden Sierra and NesR will be spinning tracks throughout the night while you taste local treats and peruse the stalls for the perfect pair of vintage dungarees, or a distinct piece of locally made jewellery. The best part of all (apart from free entry and free vibes) is that being a night market, there are fewer annoying kids around. - Sam Garcia

When & Where: Every first Friday of the month, 4pm-9pm, Redfern Community Centre 29-53 Hugo Street, Redfern (Opposite Redfern Train Station, Lawson/Eveleigh Side)

 HALFWAY CROOKS DO MARDI GRAS, CASH MONEY STYLE

 DJ Levins and Captain Franco (not to be confused with Young Franco) are up there with Joyride and Mike Who as some of Sydney’s best hip hop DJs. They’ll also be turning up the fire to 11 with Jimmy Sing, Nacho Pop, Luen and Radge and it’s 100% free. And if this isn’t your Mardi Gras fix then head along to Taylor Square and show your support for the march because LGBTI people deserve a lot more recognition than they get currently. And they should be able to get married if they want too. - Liam Apter

When & Where: Sat Mar 7. Goodgod Small Club, 53-55 Liverpool St, Chinatown. Starts at 9pm 'til your brain melts.

HWC

BEACH ROAD BONDI

As a gap-year graduate who got a feminist live art show tattoo because I heard it would be cheap as chips, and who has been asked not once, but twice, for her infamous Aldi goon punch recipe, it is safe to say I'm in the know on all things frugal. The Beach Road Hotel in Bondi has free gigs on nearly every other night, turning it up on Wednesdays to showcase up and coming acts from a bunch of genres. For free, you can get a glimpse bands like Client Liaison, Hermitude, Jagwar Ma, and Rufus, with a lovely lad-or-lady on your arm, and a cold $5 tinnie in the other. This weekend you can check out young Aussie producer Acadamy on Saturday night. – Cara Roe

When & Where: Sat Mar 7, 8pm. Beach Road Hotel, 71 Beach Road, Bondi Beach, Sydney. Free entry.

NOT-SO-FORBIDDEN-FOREST

Remember when your parents used to tell you tales of the mischief they got up to in the local orchard? Remember how shocked you were at the concept of stealing a couple of apples being thought of as an act of sheer rebellion? Well now you can relive the '50s down at Appleshack in Darkes Forest. Just a tad south of Sydney in the National park, you can pick the freshest apples, raspberries and whatever else is in season to your heart’s content, or just stroll around the farm. You only pay for what you pick, and they make great cider out of their own crop as well. – Brad Nash

When & Where: Seven days a week, 10am – 4.30pm, Glenbernie Orchard, 259 Darkes Forest Road, Darkes Forest. 30km north of Wollongong. Free.

THE HAPPIEST OF HOURS

We’re all over the drawn out irony with which everyone still, for some reason, pretends to enjoy VB and Carlton Draught. It’s not like decent tasting beer is out of the reach of the everyday person anymore, and leading the charge of the craft beer brigade is the Keg and Brew in Surry Hills. At the recently renovated Foveaux St staple, happy hour extends over a wider range of brews than you’d ever thought possible, serving up the wares of some of Australia’s best small breweries at only $4 a pop. – Brad Nash

When & Where: Happy Hour! Keg and Brew, 26 Foveaux Street, Surry Hills. 

Keg and Brew

MARKETS WITH A SEA BREEZE

Taking you back down into the National Park, you’ll find some of Sydney’s best unsung craftspeople, artists, buskers, food stalls and general knick knack peddlers down at Bundeena Markets by the sea. Purveyors of only the finest handmade ceramics, jewellery, handbags, folk art, photography and all the other local market staples set up shop on the first Sunday of each month, plus there’s a cracking little beach just down the road if autumn doesn’t feel like getting its arse into gear just yet. – Brad Nash

When & Where: First Sunday of each month, Bundeena’s Markets, Hordern’s Reserve, Bundeena.

DOUBLE THE DARLINGS

A little confused what you do before Halfway Crooks bust the joint? Then fear not as Adelaide three-piece Flamingo and multi-instrumentalist JOY will be kicking up a storm in the Goodgod Danceteria for a mere tenner. So hop on down to watch two rising stars in the making. - Liam Apter

When & Where: Sat Mar 7. Goodgod Small Club, 53-55 Liverpool St, Chinatown, Sydney. $10 from here.

FLAMINGO BAND

MELBOURNE

SKY’S THE LIMIT

 Whenever I think of pool parties I remember Biggie in his clip for “Juicy”, lounging by an oasis and rapping casually in a sea of two-stepping fans. The prospect of partying like Big has always been pretty unattainable for poverty cases like us, but finally those days are over. Every Sunday afternoon Adelphi Hotel will be hosting a pop-up pool party. Watch the sunset over the city and dip in the glass-bottomed pool overlooking Flinders Lane. As you sip on the $5 mojito that your +1 shouted you and laugh at the peasants in the streets below just remember that even on very little dosh, the sky is the limit. - Holly Bodeker-Smith

 When & Where: 2pm – 9pm every Sunday for the rest of March. Adelphi Hotel, 187 Flinders Lane, Melbourne. Free entry.

DAY DREAMIN’ AWAY 

So it’s a Sunday arvo and you’ve been broke as a nun all weekend. Fret no more my friend, Daydreams has got you covered. The original day party of the Inner North returns for round three at the stellar new location of Dr Morse in Abbotsford. With free entry, free fruit, a fine Sunday soundtrack and perfect boogyin’ vibes from the bar in the front to the beer garden out back; you can’t really ask for much more. A word of advice from experience: rock up early if you really want to get in and get down. - Holly Bodeker-Smith

When & Where: Every Sunday til the end of March, 4pm til late. Dr Morse, 274 Johnston Street, Abbotsford.

ONE DAY TO RULE THEM ALL

The Beer Garden at the Penny Black is without a doubt one of the best places to spend a Sunday in Melbourne’s Inner North, and this weekend is no exception. Australia’s favourite block party, One Day Sundays returns to this shady retreat for a long weekend eve special. One Day DJs Joyride and Raph will be spinning tunes from 1pm. Alongside them will be DJ Sensible J and turntablist DJ BTWO. Across the floor will be one of Melbourne’s finest graffiti artists in action, and the Penny Black kitchen serving up cheap and delicious foods. With free entry and no need to make Monday morning excuses, this is One Day you don’t want to miss. - Holly Bodeker-Smith

When & Where: Sun Mar 8. 1pm - late, The Penny Black, 420 Sydney Road, Brunswick. Free entry.  

I OH YOU FOREVER 

We love I OH YOU, they’re the connoisseurs of all things good on the East Coast with some bloody awesome bands like DZ Deathrays, Violent Soho, DMA’s and Montgomery on their roster. They also know how to throw a good party on a Sunday night so if hip hop ain’t your vibe some DJ sets from Seekae, Oscar Key Sung and live shows from Alta and Darcy Baylis should be a worthwhile fix. Sadly it isn’t free but for a measly $15 on the door it might as well. What’s more it’s one of the last event that will be held at the Liberty Social Club (RIP) before it shuts up shop. - Liam Apter

When & Where: Sun Mar 8. 9pm. Liberty Social Club, 279 Flinders Lane, CBD. Tickets on door.

IOHYOU

HOBART  

FRESH PRODUCE

Start your Sunday off on the right foot by heading down to Farm Gate Market (the little sister of Salamanca market) on Bathurst St for fresh, seasonal and cheap Tassie produce. Munch on a freshly toasted bagel as you ears are treated to soothing acoustic sounds from a busker or two.  If you're an early riser, be there at 8.30am sharp for the bell ringing that signifies the start of trade - and, more importantly, first pick of the blueberries. - Tom Wolff

When & Where: 8.30am to 1.00pm (rain, hail, sleet, snow or shine). Farm Gate Market, Bathurst St (between Elizabeth and Murray St) Hobart CBD. More info here.

BRUNY SHOW 

Five Australian artists recently completed their stint of artist residencies at Bull Bay on the northern tip of Bruny Island. The body of work is currently on show at Despard Gallery down in Salamanca and is an excellent portrayal of the local landscape on the island. The exhibition explores, through numerous media, Bruny's raw beauty and stubborn resilience to the constant pummelling it receives from southerly winds and swells that haven't seen land since they left Antarctica. - Tom Wolff

When & Where: Sat 11am - 5pm, Sun 11am - 4pm. 15 Castray Esplanade, Hobart. Free. More info here.

 THE LOST WORLD

Nope, not the second Jurassic Park movie. This shit is way cooler. As you emerge from the Eucalpyt forests you'll be able to gaze in awe at the massive dolerite columns from the Jurassic era (true fact) that have collapsed over thousands of years. This process has crafted its own "lost world" - a complex underground system of cave-like holes below the rocks that jut out in all directions, crafting its own "lost world" for keen bushwalkers to explore. While dinosaurs ain't of any concern, there's some serious drops in between the ancient boulders so best take a few friends and a decent pair of shoes with you. - Tom Wolff

When & Where: Any time, but day is definitely safer. Track is signposted off the main road up to the summit. Allow about 45 mins to arrive at the Lost World from the main road. More info here.

tas trails 

If you have a cheap or free event that you'd like included in our weekly No Money Weekend Guide, please email details and images to dani@pilerats.com before 5pm WAEST Thursday weekly. We're still looking for writers in Brisbane and Adelaide, so if you're full bottle on free stuff in those States, please hit us up.

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