Five Minutes with PongSlab - purveyors of custom beer pong tables

Five Minutes with PongSlab - purveyors of custom beer pong tables

Including the 'Dong Pong' and the 'Emu Expert'.

At last year's second-ever CIRCO Festival, we had a good friend of our's craft us a custom-made beer pong table to keep the artists entertained in the backstage area. The easily-pack-uppable beast was covered in glorious astro turf, featured a centre-bouncing circle, and aided in some seriously good times over the course of the day (and night). Since then the company - PongSlab - has gone from strength to strength, and with the announcement they've just launched a new website for people to start getting those orders in for summer, we thought it was a good time to catch up with the team who've brought so much joy to so many people.

Head to the PONGSLAB.BEER (best URL ever, right?) to have a gander for yourself at some table options and also some sweet limited edition merch at discounted rates.

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Designed drunk, crafted sober. We’re sure your slogan isn’t a lie. Where did it all begin?

You know when you have a great idea while drunk and then wake up the next day and realise it’s not that great? This is one job where that doesn’t happen. As far as PongSlab goes, it started when a few mates and I – one of the Pilerats directors was there in fact – were spitballing outrageous ideas for a table. The most offensive shape I could think of was the infamous “docking” manoeuvre (one our friends down in Freo have copped a bit of flack for).

Turns out sober it was still hilarious and the DongPong table was born. I still think “Head to Head” written in the centre circle is 10/10 pun value.

What is the crown jewel thus far in the PongSlab arsenal?

Definitely the Beer Hockey table. It’s air hockey with holes sunk into it that the puck falls into, but also has a high end car stereo fitted to the underside. It’s basically a party on wheels*. And it’s the most fucking intense thing you’ll ever play. Heart attack stuff.

*Wheels yet to be installed.

What’s your dream PongSlab design – go big:

Dude I had promised myself I would have this table finished by now but technology is holding me back. It’s a hoverboard. Levitating, exact design as the movie, holes cut in the kickers. I’m not even joking I’ve been trying to source an affordable mag-lev system for it.

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Best type of ball to pong with?

You know, the widget out of a Guinness can ain’t bad, and you’d be surprised how good Guinness is as a pong beer. I didn’t say blown away. Just surprised.

Best beverage to be consumed whilst ponging: crowd and competitors?

You just can’t go past the running bird for pure down-the-hatchability, but if you’re in the crowd you’ll want something with a bit of flavour and a clean, refreshing finish; my preference would be a bit of bush chook for that.

If beer pong were an Olympic sport (all for that), who do you think could represent Australia?

This is exactly why I’ve designed Olympic grade beer pong jerseys. It’s gonna happen. You’d have Boonie and Bob Hawke in the coaching box that’s for sure. And considering beer pong is as much tossing a ball as it is banter, probably my favourite Nick Honeybadger on the cups. Then you just need someone who can throw a ball in a cup. Let’s bring back Ricky Grace, he’s still the man.

We’re all for having a few bevans in creative ways. Outside of pong tables, what’s your favourite drinking game?

I’ll play Hermits with anyone who’ll play with me. Six beers each, in a cupboard or dark space alone, no talking, no phones, no watches, one song on repeat really loud. And it’s not a race. You won’t understand til you try.

Unless you don’t have much time, then Choins or FunnelorFreethrow.

The Pilerats Green Room Table was a favourite of ours but we need a new one, without giving you any kind of directive, give us a design pitch to mull over for the coming summer.

You’re probably the only customers that could fund the Hoverboard. Remember that scene in Arthur with Jennifer Garner stuck to the floating bed? That shit exists. Go get me my mag-lev legs, Bitterman!

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