What The Facebook Dislike Button Would Really Be Used For
We're all just going to throw shade.
It's happening; the moment we've all been waiting for, Facebook is considering introducing a Dislike button. It's been a mighty long wait with a steady flow of Facebook pages throughout the years demanding the Dislike button and the odd spam weblink promising you a DL of said button. But as the brains behind Facebook Mark Zuckerberg said on Tuesday, "People have asked about the 'Dislike' button for many years...Today is the day that I actually get to say we are working on it." Their intention is for users to use it to show empathy when 'sad moments' occur like natural disasters or deaths. However, it looks like the button won't be called 'Dislike'.
But lets be real here, the possibilities for this button are immense:
Shutting Down The Idiot Who Thinks Vaccines = Autism
We've all got them, they're keen to tell you eating meat means you'll get cancer, vaccines all come from 'Big Pharma' who want to run the world and how they're sooooo baaaddd for you. But hey it wasn't like vaccines got rid of Smallpox ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So instead of getting into a debate with them about the merits of vaccines just simply 'dislike' their post and let them know they're being an idiot.
Your Friend Who Likes Tony Abbott
Wouldn't it be so satisfying to downvote this person and let them know how wrong they are? Instead of being a keyboard warrior we could all become 'dislike' champions.
That Friend At Glastonbury / Coachella / Any Decent Festival
Dreaming of that fantastic line-up because you know they'll never come to Australia. Jealous that you're not at what probably looks like the best festival ever but in reality still features exactly the same amount of John Lennon glasses all festivals do? Wishing you were paying for over-priced beer and covered in mud? Simple, just chuck your mate a dislike because that's what friends do when they're jealous.
That Sexist / Homophobic / Racist Person
Aw man I haven't heard the old 'It's Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' argument in awhile. Well the bible also says to stone women but hey we don't do that so lets not trust everything a 2000+ year old book has to tell us. But again you can just show them how wrong they are with a simple dislike button.
Just Shitting On Your Friend's Smart-Arse Comment
You know those arguments you get into with a friend and they drop this huge call on you? Well just get some other friends round to dislike it for you so your original friend won't look so smooth after all.
In all seriousness though the 'dislike' button doesn't seem like the best idea ever invented, sure you can do some pretty sweet things with it but in the same way you can also deal some pretty horrible blows to people. So maybe it would better if it wasn't utilised. And on the topic of new 'buttons' Cool Accidents have got the right idea with this suggestion: