Characters You Might Have Sex With This Halloween
Here's some role-playing fantasy options you might get lucky with this Halloween.
Whoever your celebrity crush or darkest fantasy, someone will likely be role playing them at a party this Halloween. So in a semi-kinda-sorta way, you could totally achieve coitus with your celebrity fantasy this week, or lets face it - there's enough Halloween parties going on that there's no reason you couldn't knock out a few of them. Heres a bunch of characters that will no doubt be getting around at a Halloween party near you.
Daenarys 'Khaleesi' Targarian:
This was a popular look last year though will no doubt return once again after yet another huge season of HBO's Game Of Thrones. So if anything that's a great thing for those who blew it with a Khaleesi last Halloween, now's your chance to attempt to lock it up once more. Just like in Game Of Thrones though, Khaleesi's likely going to have a powerful and influential team of dragons in tow. Usual ugly friend evasive tactics apply here, link them up with your mates or lose them on the dancefloor then convince the princess to get in the next available chariot home with you.
Ryan Gosling in Drive:
1x scorpion motif jacket simply aquired from eBay, a pair of denim blue jeans and a set of leather driving gloves is all one needs to achieve female celebrity fantasy number one, Ryan Gosling. As anyone who's seen the film would know there isn't a whole lot of dialogue, which is totally part of the tactic here and why you're not going as Noah from The Notebook. By staying in character and only speaking when called upon you're essentially doing yourself more of a favour by not opening your mouth. As of course by then you're probably going to have a belly full of booze and white drugs, totally incapable of stringing together a sentence let alone something dreamy from The Notebook. If you want to go as a Ryan Gosling character, go as him in Drive. If you want to sleep with a Ryan Gosling character, sleep with someone dressed as him in Drive. You'll ruin the Noah dream otherwise, nobody can live up to that guy.
Theres going to be girls (and probably guys too) dressed as nu-ratchet Miley this year so if you got a thing for her, no matter where you look like there's no excuse - there will be a Mileys of all shapes and sizes for everyone out there.
We've all felt some kind of weird attraction toward a cartoon character don't even attempt to deny it. All the Disney babes like Ariel and Snow White, then Pocahontas and Jasmin if you like your women exotic. Let's not forget Nala either ya freaks. Girls, you got every Prince Charming typecast ever, then guys like Hercules, Aladdin, John Smith, shit you might even have some weird thing about Tigger after sleeping next to a plush toy throughout your entire childhood. Looney Tunes fans will know that Lola Bunny is a ten, same with Lois from Family Guy. I guess what i'm trying to say is, it's totally okay if you go home with Marge Simpson this Halloween.
Anything covered in blood or skull makeup:
There will be no shortage of skull makeup and fake blood. If you have to get any dark fantasies out the way, Halloween is the time. You know this, get it done. RIP white sheets if you bring yourself home a corpse bride or skeleton boy. Though on the plus side, your awful smudged makeup still probably looks better than your actual face come the next morning.
Walter White/Jesse Pinkman:
You know there's gonna be a shitload of people rocking Walter White meth-cooking coats hazmat suits. Or maybe they'll go the patented Heisenberg hat and dark glasses motif. Either way all your drug kingpin fantasies will come true. You can throw Jesse some symphaty sex 'cause of the shit time he had over pretty much the past five seasons of HISTORY'S BEST EVER TV SHOW. Or you can have hateful sex with Walter for making Jesse's life suck so much.
Despicable Me Minions:
These adorable little fuckers are back in a big way after the Despicable Me sequel earlier this year. All their crazy hi-jinkx and non-sensical jibberish. Find a group of them and prepare yourself for some good old fashioned yellow-flavoured fun. The dirty talk will not make any sense, but then you're haing sex with a yellow blob in denim overalls and weird goggles, so not much is making sense by this point.
The Royal Baby:
Speaking of adorabe little fu- ahhh just kidding we're not going there.